Moby (00:00:06):

Okay, so welcome to another episode of Moby Pod and in the spirit of full disclosure, my name is Moby.

Lindsay (00:00:14):

My name is Lindsay. In the spirit of full disclosure

Moby (00:00:16):

And even more spirit of full disclosure, this is now the second time we've tried to record this episode of Moby Pod because we got about 10 minutes in and it was 10 minutes of gold. Like just, it

Lindsay (00:00:28):

Was really special stuff.

Moby (00:00:29):

Hilarious, insightful, tear jerking, phenomenal podcast material. But I, as a completely flawed audio engineer, forgot to turn on my microphone <laugh>. And because I'm the loud mouth who rambles on all the time, that means you could not hear me. And many people would be relieved by that fact. But the thing is, there only two of us here and Bagel Lindsay and our friend Mike Formanski, it made for some awkward content when it was just like three minutes of silence while I was talking. And then you would talk

Lindsay (00:01:04):

Like giggle at nobody knows what. So, and what was Lindsay laughing at?

Moby (00:01:07):

Other spirit of disclosure is we're filming this episode of Moby Pod and we're gonna try to edit together a video version to see what we think, to see what audience might think. Um, it's interesting cuz now there's cameras around us. There's three cameras and there's that one in the middle that if you're listening, you don't know what I'm pointing to. But if you're watching, I'm pointing to this wide camera that feels very professional to me.

Lindsay (00:01:33):

It does, it does. I feel a different level of self-conscious, but also maybe it'll make me say less dumb stuff when it, when I consider

Moby (00:01:39):

You, you don't say dumb stuff. You say funny stuff. No, I guess don't sell yourself short.

Lindsay (00:01:44):

Thank you. Yeah, thank you for that.it's very kind.

Moby (00:01:46):

YousAre, a ma and people might misinterpret it. But you are a master at sort of understated and sometimes overstated comedy.

Lindsay (00:01:55):

<laugh> <laugh>.

Moby (00:01:57):

Okay. So when I was also in the version that did not actually record, we we're talking about how some of our Moby Pod episodes have been very earnest. Some have involved very interesting guests. This does not involve a guest. And I don't know if this episode's gonna be all that earnest because we have a slate of ridiculous stuff that we want to talk about.

Lindsay (00:02:21):

Well, it's ridiculous, but some of it might be sad, some of it might be shocking, some of it might be gross. We just don't know what's gonna happen. Because what we're gonna do today is we are going to share with you some of our most recently discovered favorite facts, which is something we've done in little bits on previous episodes. But today we're going all in on the facts train.

Moby (00:02:46):

Yep. Facts. And we're gonna also go to listener mail. Cause we've received quite a lot of mail from aforementioned listeners. And we might try and even improvise a song at one point. And I did wanna sort, sort of tell a story that I had told in the version that we tried to record that didn't record about a movie that you made.

Lindsay (00:03:09):

Well, I brought it up because I was saying I was gonna say that I'm so used to cameras around <laugh> because I've been in about four or seven web series

Moby (00:03:18):

And real movies. Suicide Kale. And then you finished that one in Michigan.

Lindsay (00:03:24):

Mm-hmm. A Christmas lesbian romantic comedy movie.

Moby (00:03:28):

Okay. Which hopefully we'll see next Christmas. Um, I don't think that's the actual title.

Lindsay (00:03:33):

No, that's not the

Moby (00:03:34):

Title. Like, like borrowing from Snakes on a Plane. It should just be a Christmas lesbian, romantic movie.

Lindsay (00:03:40):

It should be, it should be. Give the people,

Moby (00:03:41):

maybe tell the director, say like, "Hey, we've got a good title for your movie."

Lindsay (00:03:45):

I don't know if we, they've landed on a title yet, so I'm very happy to kick that one over to them.

Moby (00:03:49):

But a movie that you never finished was one that you wrote and directed and I believe also shot Did it have a name?

Lindsay (00:03:57):

I think the film was called "Fuck You, Debbie"

Moby (00:04:00):

<laugh>. So at some point, I, I hope you finish. Fuck You Debbie. Cuz the rough cut that I saw, it was a short film about a woman who has a bad breakup and takes all her belongings and walks into the ocean. And I believe the spoiler alert, the last thing she says is, you Debbie, before she disappears into the ocean.

Lindsay (00:04:20):

That's exactly how it goes. So, and I never finished it because I thought that maybe the suicide aspect might be a little bit too sad and triggering. So I kind of put that idea to bed. But boy did I enjoy doing it. Just the image of Laura, Zack walking into the ocean with a suitcase. All her stuff. Yeah. Yeah. <laugh>

Moby (00:04:37):

It, I think, well I think it's really funny and it, I mean sure there's a little bit of a suicide overtone, but it's absurdist comedy. because she walks into the ocean and she yells, "Fuck you, Debbie." And then she disappears. But there was, so one thing that happened in the movie that made me laugh is Laura gets into an Uber and your friend Brittani

Lindsay (00:04:57):

Plays the Uber driver and

Moby (00:04:59):

Laura berates the Uber driver and says something like, "You're a stupid head."

Lindsay (00:05:04):

Like, "Stop here, you stupid head!" Or something like that.

Moby (00:05:07):

And Laura gets out of the car and then you cut to Brittani in the car and she says, "You're a stupid head. I'm not a stupid head!"

Lindsay (00:05:15):

<laugh>.

Moby (00:05:15):

And I had never met your friend Brittani , who now writes for Abbott Elementary.

Lindsay (00:05:21):

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, yes. Very accomplished writer. Brittani Nichols.

Moby (00:05:23):

And I was at some party and you were there obviously, and Brittani was there and I'd never met her. And I walked up to her and rather than introduce myself, I walked up to her and I said, "you're a stupid head!" <Laugh>, thinking I would be so funny referencing your movie that you made <laugh>. And she had no idea what I was talking about and was horrified and offended and just walked away understandably. Cuz she thought I was just some weird

Lindsay (00:05:47):

Calling her a stupid head <laugh>

Moby (00:05:48):

cisgendered white guy walking up to her saying, "You're a stupid head". And I was actually referencing your hilarious movie. you Fuck Debbie <laugh>. So if you ever, if you talk to Brittani, not that she'll remember this cuz she's obviously got bigger things going on, but I still feel a little bit mortified that I offended your friend Brittani by saying you're a stupid head.

Lindsay (00:06:06):

That's very funny. And I did not know that happened. And I will a hundred percent tell her

Moby (00:06:11):

So hard, be mad at me all over again. I don't know.

Lindsay (00:06:13):

Yeah. She suffers no fools. And I love that about her.

Moby (00:06:15):

Okay, so I, we were talking earlier about facts, and I know that you collect obscure, weird, interesting, relevant, irrelevant facts and bits of trivia And so I thought we could have a battle of facts and trivia. Cause I also love facts and trivia.

Lindsay (00:06:37):

Yeah. Fact battle. It makes me, I think we should have a theme song for fact battle. Maybe we can put it in here. It could be something like <sings> Fact battle!

Theme Music (00:06:45):

<heavy gutar music> Fact Battle, the battle of facts!

Moby (00:06:53):

<laugh>. Should we, do you wanna just begin our fact battle?

Lindsay (00:06:59):

Yes. And we've talked about this. I know you have five facts to share?

Moby (00:07:03):

Or four or six. I don't know, I just grabbed a bunch.

Lindsay (00:07:05):

I have four only. .

Moby (00:07:07):

Okay. So,

Lindsay (00:07:08):

And I care deeply about all of them.

Moby (00:07:09):

Okay. So let's, let's do our fact battle.

Lindsay (00:07:14):

Okay. Fact battle commence.

Moby (00:07:16):

Okay. I'm gonna start with the ridiculous.

Lindsay (00:07:21):

Okay.

Moby (00:07:21):

If you don't mind,

Lindsay (00:07:23):

I I encourage it.

Moby (00:07:25):

Hopefully it's funny. I think it's funny. <laugh> and the listeners at home are in their car or on the subway wherever can join in if they want. This is an audience participation fact.

Lindsay (00:07:35):

Ooh.

Moby (00:07:36):

So Lindsay. Yes. Did you know, cuz I did not know this up until very recently, that you cannot hum while you hold your nose.

Lindsay (00:07:48):

It seems unlikely.

Moby (00:07:50):

Yeah. Cuz humming is like your mouth is closed. Everything's fine. So we're

Lindsay (00:07:53):

But the sound has to come outta some hole.

Moby (00:07:55):

Do <laugh>, do you want me to try it? And then you can try it? Or do you or do you wanna try it?

Lindsay (00:08:01):

I wanna watch you do it so bad.

Moby (00:08:02):

Okay. So here's a regular hum. <sings> Hmm hmm hmm.

Lindsay (00:08:05):

All that sound coming outta your nose holes.

Moby (00:08:08):

Now I'm just gonna start a hum. And while I'm humming I'm gonna plug up my nose.

Lindsay (00:08:14):

Okay. How are you gonna do that. You're gonna

Moby (00:08:14):

Just grab it.

Lindsay (00:08:15):

Okay.

Moby (00:08:15):

A little nose grab. Ready? Okay.

Lindsay (00:08:20):

Look at those pinkies ready.

Moby (00:08:20):

<hums> Mm-hmm...

Lindsay (00:08:23):

Oh no. Does It hurt? <laugh>?

Moby (00:08:30):

Okay. Now you,

Lindsay (00:08:31):

I can't believe how funny that is to watch.

Moby (00:08:33):

Yeah. Okay. <laugh>. So, okay, so, so just start, start your humming. Give gimme b Before even just gimme like some un noses interrupted humming. Okay. Just a little hum.

Lindsay (00:08:44):

Yeah. <hums> Hmmm....

Moby (00:08:47):

<laugh>. Keep going.

Lindsay (00:08:57):

Bang. Yeah, I don't like that.

Moby (00:08:58):

See, there's no workaround. Like, okay, now I'm gonna try it like I'm, see if I can do some clever workaround. Like sneak a hum in while I'm <hums> Hmm... Nope. You're

Lindsay (00:09:08):

Gonna hurt yourself so you're gonna blow out an eyeball.

Moby (00:09:11):

So I encourage everybody right now to try that. Try to start humming and then plug up your nose and see if, if, because maybe there's someone out there who's able to like hum through their eyeballs or can hum while they're plugging their nose. I don't think it's possible.

Lindsay (00:09:29):

You know, I think that you are all, everything in your face is connected. So there's a world in which somebody can make sound come out of their ear holes.

Moby (00:09:37):

Yeah. Or elsewhere. Okay. So that's my, that's my fun ridiculous fact that you cannot hum while you hold your nose.

Lindsay (00:09:45):

Okay. I like it. I like it a lot. I think it's a really good fact. Okay. And also I love that there's a, a tangible

Moby (00:09:51):

And an audience participation aspect.

Lindsay (00:09:53):

Yeah, no, we love that. Okay, here's my question for you Moby. Sure. You're familiar with the Midwest and you know that it's very humid in the Midwest,

Moby (00:10:03):

Certainly in the summertimes. Yes.

Lindsay (00:10:04):

Summertimes are very, very humid. Here's another thing that happens in the Midwest. Lots of corn, right? You think that the humidity and the corn might be unrelated. That's where you're wrong. Cornstalks sweat corn releases moisture, water moisture into the atmosphere. They call it corn sweat and it causes humidity. So because there's so much corn being grown there, it's adding to the humidity in the Midwest.

Moby (00:10:32):

Wow.

Lindsay (00:10:33):

By some like insane amount.

Moby (00:10:36):

Hmm. Because you know, when I was growing up, a lot of my family's from Nebraska and from Minnesota and so we used to go to Nebraska and Minnesota when I was growing up and I do remember that like, and sometimes it was really nice like a July night in Nebraska where it's like 96 during the day and at night it goes, sounded like 88 and it's actually really nice outside. Yeah. So maybe that's cuz of corn sweat?

Lindsay (00:10:59):

Could be. Here's just a figure to go along with the fact one acre of corn can release 4,000 gallons of water per day. Enough to fill a residential swimming pool in less than a week. One acre of corn

Moby (00:11:14):

And there's like a billion acres of corn.

Lindsay (00:11:17):

Yeah. That's how much moisture it's putting into the air.

Moby (00:11:20):

Wow. Um,

Lindsay (00:11:20):

kind of crazy, right?

Moby (00:11:21):

I have, I also have a corn related bit of fact trivia.

Lindsay (00:11:26):

I love it. Corn is a very popular Fact.

Lindsay (00:11:29):

Or discussion point.

Moby (00:11:31):

So I don't know when toilet paper was invented. That might be an interesting thing about that.

Lindsay (00:11:38):

Early 1900s I think.

Moby (00:11:38):

Okay. So apparently pre toilet paper, one of the most common ways of taking care of stuff in the toilet was by using corn cobs.

Lindsay (00:11:50):

Corn cob wiping,

Moby (00:11:52):

I guess guess it was, yeah. A little more like abrasion scrub like, but like, I guess cuz they would grow a lot of corn. They would eat a lot of corn and then they'd have a lot of these corn cobs and that was like what got used as toilet paper before toilet paper was invented.

Lindsay (00:12:09):

So you eat your, your at your table with your family, you eat your corn on the cob and you toss the cobs into a kind of bucket. Or a large bowl, perhaps a basket? And then you keep them in the bathroom?

Moby (00:12:23):

The Outhouse

Lindsay (00:12:23):

or outhouse.

Moby (00:12:25):

Yeah.

Lindsay (00:12:25):

And then you have like a clean and dirty cob bucket.

Moby (00:12:30):

Oh! <Laugh>. Yeah. That's the question. Like what do you do with the cob? I guess it goes in the, the outhouse hole cuz it's biodegradable. Yeah. Um, another

Lindsay (00:12:37):

Can't flush a corn cob, that's for sure.

Moby (00:12:39):

Well I don't think they flushed outhouses. Have you ever?

Lindsay (00:12:42):

No. I mean, but if, if they had um, indoor plumbing.

Moby (00:12:45):

Yeah. You certainly couldn't flush.

Lindsay (00:12:46):

You gotta just toss that cob out the window.

Moby (00:12:47):

So another little interesting bit of early toilet trivia. Is the catalogs that were made in the 19th and even 18th centuries.

Lindsay (00:12:59):

Farmers Almanac?

Moby (00:12:59):

Like Farmer's and Sears Roebuck catalog. They came with big holes punched in them so people could hang them in outhouses and used the pages as toilet paper. So they came predesigned to be used as toilet paper.

Lindsay (00:13:13):

Was there also like a big market for? Butthole paper cut ointments? I feel like everyone must have had like very sensitive situations

Moby (00:13:22):

Or after a lifetime of using corn cobs and catalog paper. No sensitivity.

Lindsay (00:13:28):

Oh Yeah, that's true. Um,

Moby (00:13:29):

Maybe they would ridicule us in our sort of delicate like toilet paper inspired sensibilities.

Lindsay (00:13:34):

Here's one about ancient Rome. They would have, you know, all of the toilets were just holes lined up that people sat on. It was kind of like a communal thing, but they just had little like, rags on sticks. That they kept in like little things next to it and everyone just used the same

Moby (00:13:51):

No, no.

Lindsay (00:13:54):

Yeah. Like brushes type thing.

New Speaker (00:13:55):

No, no.

New Speaker (00:13:56):

Yeah.

New Speaker (00:13:57):

Oh, I don't like that at all.

Lindsay (00:13:58):

Ancient Rome man. Wow. Do not wanna go to the bathroom there. Uh, but to them I'm sure they thought it was fine

Moby (00:14:03):

A nd, and a lot of cultures for the longest time bathing was incredibly rare in the uk. And this is not, this is just, we're just having a little conversation. Even though this is in, this is interesting, horrifying fact.In England in the Middle Ages, people prided themselves on never bathing. And there were, there were some people who maintained it from the time they were born until the time they died. They never once bathed.

Lindsay (00:14:30):

You say that like it's gross, but I think you would've loved it.

Moby (00:14:32):

No, I don't. I I like, I like having a sort of, um, microbiome respectful, inspired approach towards bathing and hygiene. But I also like bathing a lot. I bathed yesterday. It was real, it was delightful. I got in the shower. Yeah. bathed. Yeah.

Lindsay (00:14:49):

A full moon washing.

Moby (00:14:50):

I might not do it every day, but I love it. You know, many, many times a year do I bathe as opposed to like in the middle ages never bathing cuz they think about it. When would you, where would you I mean like, it was cold, it was muddy. Like you put on a pair, you put on your clothes and you never took them off. Cuz it was just too cold. So, okay. You started with corn. I went to corn cobs. Now

Lindsay (00:15:14):

It's my turn again?

Moby (00:15:14):

Yeah, it's your turn.

Lindsay (00:15:15):

Okay. This one is kind of gross.

Moby (00:15:18):

As opposed to people wiping their butts with corn cobs and getting paper cuts different and sharing, S

Lindsay (00:15:24):

Sharing rags on sponges stick. It was actually sponges. Sponges soaked in vinegar.

Moby (00:15:29):

Okay. Well the vinegar at least would kill the bacteria. So, but still, my goodness,

Lindsay (00:15:33):

That's rough. It's rough. But also environmentally friendly. Thanks, Ancient Rome. Okay, here's my fact. Did you know that no one really knows the, like why we call cesarean sections C-sections? Cesarean?

Moby (00:15:48):

I assume something to do with Caesar.

Lindsay (00:15:50):

Well, under Roman law, Caesar did decree that all women who were dead or dying at childbirth, it was like, you legally must do this if your, if your life is at risk.

Moby (00:16:03):

Like Game of Thrones.

Lindsay (00:16:05):

Yes, exactly. But also there are Latin origins, the verb "caedare", C A E D A R E means to cut. So could have been just from the Latin word and have nothing to do with Cesar. Or there's a term "caesone", which was applied to infants born by postmortem operations.

Moby (00:16:25):

Oh man. So

Lindsay (00:16:26):

They aren't exactly sure which thing leads back to the etymology. It's a bit of a tricky one, but also sad and gross.

Moby (00:16:34):

I mean there are many things about our current 21st century modern life that I find horrifying. Like, you know, the fact that we kill a trillion animals every year, the fact that we're destroying the rainforests, the fact that we're, you know, the climate is escalating out of control. I mean, there's so many things that are wrong. But at the same time, I'm really glad that we bathe more than once in our lifetime. And that we can like not have to share rags to wipe our butts with. And that it's not routine for women to be cut open when they're dying to retrieve a child. Like there's a lot about modern life that suddenly seems really nice compared to what the, the circumstances these poor people had to live with.

Lindsay (00:17:15):

Yeah. Modern medicine and electricity are pretty dope.

Moby (00:17:18):

And dentistry.

Lindsay (00:17:20):

Dentistry, incredible. Modern dentistry. But also, you know, if you did wanna share a vinegar sponge with your friend

Moby (00:17:27):

<laugh>,

Lindsay (00:17:29):

You, you have that option.

Moby (00:17:32):

<laugh>, No, I mean butts are... No, No. Not. Ew. No.

Moby (00:17:45):

Okay. We've covered a lot of ground in the world of facts and trivia. so far figured out that you cannot hum while you hold your nose. That corn makes humidity and people use corn cubs in lieu of toilet paper and that the c-section was etymologically or, and historically it derived from caesarian times and also possible latin.

Lindsay (00:18:10):

But also possible Latin, but also possible other things. Um, also fun fact, Cesar was born by cesarean.

Moby (00:18:18):

Oh. It's sort of ironic

Lindsay (00:18:20):

Isn't it? I thought it was called um, a cesarean because people stabbed Cesar and it was like, k ind of medical stabbing.

Moby (00:18:28):

Oh that's in Yeah. That,

Lindsay (00:18:29):

That was what I had always assumed before I saw this fact.

Moby (00:18:31):

If you told me that was the actual origin of it, I would believe that

Lindsay (00:18:35):

It makes a lot of sense to me.

Moby (00:18:36):

Beware of the ides of March and it's almost the ides of March.

Lindsay (00:18:39):

It's almost the ides of March. Uhoh.

Moby (00:18:40):

Oh, we shouldn't say that cuz we might not launch. We might not release this podcast until April.

Lindsay (00:18:45):

Well we're recording this right before the ides of March. Yeah. So spooky.

Moby (00:18:50):

Okay, so we've touched on the interesting and the sort of ridiculous. I have what I think is one of the most fascinating bits of trivia. It's a fact. It's a fascinating fact. Okay. You're familiar with tardigrades?

Lindsay (00:19:03):

Water bears.

Moby (00:19:04):

Water bears. Yes. Tiny microscopic little water bears. Tiny

Lindsay (00:19:08):

Little animals. Right? Are they, are they an animal?

Moby (00:19:11):

Yeah, they're an actual, I mean they swim, they move around, they reproduce. What's so fascinating about tardigrades is they are, I believe it's called an extremophile, where they can live in environments where life should not exist.

Lindsay (00:19:24):

They the incredibly hot, the incredibly cold. Like that's what you mean?

Moby (00:19:27):

They can survive up to 300 degrees Fahrenheit.

Lindsay (00:19:31):

Too hot.

Moby (00:19:31):

They can also survive as low as 450 degrees below zero

Lindsay (00:19:37):

Damn, water bears.

Moby (00:19:38):

And here's the most interesting thing, which some people might think that tardigrades come from outer space because an experiment was done in outer space. Tardigrades survived in outer space, not in the spaceship in actual outer space for

Lindsay (00:19:55):

In the air?

Moby (00:19:55):

The non-air in space.

Lindsay (00:19:57):

Oh yeah.

Moby (00:19:58):

For 10 days they just shut themselves down and they survived. So it's like minus 450 degrees, no oxygen, the crippling cold and I mean no atmosphere whatsoever. And they survived for 10 days.

Lindsay (00:20:13):

Damn, water bears nasty.

Moby (00:20:14):

Isn't that a but that's,

Lindsay (00:20:15):

That's crazy. Yeah. How, what is the, what would you say the temperature is in space?

Moby (00:20:18):

Minus 450? I mean, I believe depends on how close you are to the hot things. Like if you're close to a sun, I imagine it's warmer than if you're like in between solar systems. Yeah, yeah. But generally speaking, I think it's around absolute zero. Someone could probably correct that. But I think it's around minus 450 degrees Yikes Fahrenheit. It's chilly absolute zero. Which I believe absolute zero. And again, I'm sure some smart person who's listening can let us know. But I think absolute zero is understood as the coldest that cold can ever be. Like heat wise. I think there's no up really no real upper limit to how hot something can be. But I think absolute zero is the coldest anything could possibly be.

Lindsay (00:20:59):

Wow. That kind of hurts my brain.

Moby (00:21:00):

And tardigrades can survive in that absolute zero environment, which leads some people to think maybe tardigrades traveled for millennia through space before coming here.

Lindsay (00:21:11):

There's many people that think that the octopus is not of this world because they are so they live in their own kind of, there's no other creatures like them cuz they, you know, they can change colors, which chameleon can do as well. But they can also change shapes. They can, they use tools like they're incredibly intelligent, they're emotional. They remember people, they embrace, they you know they'r , they're like cuddly. Hmm. They're just a special animal. And people think that, I mean, some people think that they're not of this world.

Moby (00:21:44):

I don't know that, I mean, all I know about octopus is in my ignorance are from that. My Octopus Teacher movie

Lindsay (00:21:50):

<laugh>, which was very good.

Moby (00:21:51):

Yeah. Which was very good. But I should, so, okay, so now when we leave here, I'm gonna go research octopi.

Lindsay (00:21:57):

Great.

Moby (00:21:58):

Okay. So that's, that just sort of blows my mind that like there's a biological creature on this planet that can survive in outer space. Human beings, if you put us in outer space, 10 seconds we're done.

Lindsay (00:22:10):

We just freeze to death.

Moby (00:22:11):

We freeze and there there's, there's no, you'd freeze to death and you wouldn't be able to breathe anything cuz there's no atmosphere in space. Which is also why, you know, that old expression in 2001 in space, no one can hear you scream. Or maybe that's Alien. So when, whenever I'm watching sci-fi and they have a sound and outer space, I kind of roll my eyes a little bit

Lindsay (00:22:33):

Because there's nothing for the sound to travel on.

Moby (00:22:34):

And I really appreciate science fiction where they don't have sound in space like be sound if you're in your little EVA, like your little suit. Yeah. But otherwise there's no sound cuz there's nothing to convey the sound. Okay. So those, that's my little tardigrade trivia with a little sound chaser.

Lindsay (00:22:53):

<laugh>. Um, well my next fact is also an animal effect, but a big animal. So elephants African elephants specifically are poached like crazy for their tusks because people think that they have magical powers. Ivory. is incredibly expensive. So people are out there killing lots and lots of elephants for their tusks, which is incredibly sad and fills me with rage.

Moby (00:23:20):

Horrifying.

Lindsay (00:23:21):

That I wake up sometimes in the middle of the night. Very sad about poaching. But there are now evolving tuskless, naturally tuskless elephants that have evolved because it was a gene mutation, but those were the elephants that weren't getting killed.

Moby (00:23:38):

Oh wow.

Lindsay (00:23:40):

So now all of these tuskless elephants are starting to explode in population because they're safer from human poaching. So basically humans are breeding out elephant tusks because they've killed so many elephants that they aren't having the chance to breed as much as the naturally tuskless ones. However, I think only female elephants can survive that gene mutation. So it's only females that are populating the males tuskless males won't be born basically.

Moby (00:24:09):

That's such a complicated fact. Cause on one hand it's really fascinating. On one hand it's encouraging, on one hand it's profoundly depressing. Yeah. I mean like killing elephants, if you've ever seen an elephant, they're the most, I mean like all animals deserve to live, but elephants are just like these majestic, wonderful, strong noble creatures to kill one and grind up their tusks for non-science. Like, it's just so infu, everything about humans is infuriating. But that's especially infuriating. But

Lindsay (00:24:40):

Also people think that they have like magical stuff like, you know, bears, people kill bears for their bile,

Moby (00:24:45):

The moon bears. Yeah.

Lindsay (00:24:47):

Which is so sad to me. But anyway, that's my fact that there's now all of these tuskless elephants in Mozambique that have evolved because we killed so many of the elephants with tusks because people are terrible.

Moby (00:25:00):

Okay. I've got a few more, but I, there's one in particular that I thought was kind of like tiny and ridiculous and cute. Okay. You're familiar with the hip hop performer, Snoop Doggy Dog, Snoop Dogg?

Lindsay (00:25:14):

Yes. I'm familiar.

Moby (00:25:15):

Do you know where he got his name from? A puppy? Uh, I don't know where the dog part came from <laugh>, but the Snoop part came from when he was little. His mom thought he looked like Snoopy from the Peanuts and started calling him Snoopy and Snoop.

Lindsay (00:25:29):

That's adorable.

Moby (00:25:31):

Yep. Do you wanna hear a very adorable Snoop Dogg story? And Okay, first, first here's a very intimidating Snoop Dogg story. Okay. Um, I was on tour with Snoop Dogg a while ago in Australia. It was myself and some of the guys from the Scissor Sisters and Snoop Dogg and.

Lindsay (00:25:45):

I love Scissor Sisters.

Moby (00:25:46):

It was the most random tour. Um, and Snoop Dogg was the star. He hadn't been in Australia in years. And the show that he did was so remarkable. It was like a huge band dancers. I mean, I felt like it was like a carnival show, like all these people on stage. And he didn't just play his hits, he played everybody's hits. Like it was like playing other hip hop songs, disco songs, pop songs. It was a show unlike anything I'd ever seen. Like this huge, phenomenal performance. And I was sometimes going on after him and I was just DJing. Do you know what it's like to walk on stage in front of 75,000 people who've just witnessed the greatest show ever and play some records?

Lindsay (00:26:31):

I can't imagine it.

Moby (00:26:32):

Basically, I mean like, there's many reasons why I'm bald and sad, but that, because also, like some of these shows were in the middle of the day, so I couldn't even hide behind lights <laugh>. So like, like I'm walking on stage after Snoop Dogg has finished and his performance was unbelievable. And I'm like, one little guy, one little white guy walks on stage with some records after the greatest performance anyone's ever seen. So that's the intimidating part.

Lindsay (00:27:00):

Was the audience noticeably like, this is not as good? Or were they just excited because maybe they needed a little break from all of the

Moby (00:27:08):

They, they, they appreciated me for being so much less exciting and interesting than Snoop Dogg. They're like, whoa, that. So that was too much stimulation, like boy we need something so boring and uninspiring. <laugh>. Um,

Lindsay (00:27:20):

No, I just mean, you know, it could be very mentally taxing to take in so much

Moby (00:27:25):

<laugh> to be that happy.

Lindsay (00:27:26):

Yeah <laugh>.

Moby (00:27:26):

Yeah. So I, yeah, I was the break in their joy <laugh>, um, the audience definitely the energy level got turned from 10 to about two pretty quickly. Of course I started playing records. The energy level came back a little bit. But like boy oh boy, walking across that giant stage after Snoop Dogg was so terrifying and intimidating. <laugh>. But the very adorable part is Snoop Dogg was traveling with his huge entourage. If I was his business manager, I would've had a word with him. He had like 20 people on tour with me. And I will say one of the good things about being a DJs, I was by myself. but his wife was with him and it was Christmas time. So every flight we had, cuz it's Australia, it's big, you have to fly to shows. Every flight we had, he would do the same thing. And I hope I don't get in trouble for saying this, but it was so adorable. He would sit in his seat snuggle with his wife while wearing a Santa Hat and watch World War II documentaries and fall asleep. And so he is just like,

Lindsay (00:28:29):

He was just staying festive on the plane?

Moby (00:28:31):

Yeah.

Lindsay (00:28:31):

God, that's cute.

New Speaker (00:28:32):

So, so imagine Snoop Dogg curled up a, like with his head on his wife's shoulder and he's sleeping, wearing his little Santa hat and there's like some Discovery Channel documentary about like the Battle of the Bulge. Wow. It was so ador and I'm, I'm really hoping that I don't get, get in trouble for sharing that story cause it's one of the cutest, most endear like I didn't really have a strong opinion about Snoop Dogg before that, but it really, that really endeared me to him.

Lindsay (00:28:57):

I've always liked Snoop Dogg, but now I like him so much more.

Moby (00:29:00):

It was very, very sweet.

Lindsay (00:29:01):

That's great.

Lindsay (00:29:11):

I just have, I have one additional fact that I would like to share, but it comes with a question because I know that you, back in the day, well because you were, you taught Bible study back in the day.

Moby (00:29:22):

I had a, a good eight year period as a very serious Christian

Lindsay (00:29:26):

Uhhuh. <affirmative>. How old were you?

Moby (00:29:27):

To my great shame? It was from the time I was 22 until around 29.

Lindsay (00:29:33):

Okay. And you were a devout Christian who taught or led Bible studies

Moby (00:29:39):

And I, this sounds really smarmy, but I was like a sort of smug New England intellectual Christian, like reading Kierkegaard and Thomas Merton. But still I was an annoying, judgmental, rigid Christian. I mean now I love the teachings of Christ, but I, in a world, in a universe, it's 15 billion years old, I just can't identify as being part of any one religion. Like when there are are trillion galaxies in a universe that's 15 billion years old. Like we don't, we don't know anything.

Lindsay (00:30:11):

That's true.

Moby (00:30:12):

So...

Lindsay (00:30:13):

I agree, agree with you on that. But because of your time Uhoh <laugh> studying the Bible, you may know the story of King Nebuchadnezzar. Am I saying that right? Nebu. Nebu.

Moby (00:30:24):

Nebuchadnezzar

Lindsay (00:30:25):

Nebuchadnezzar, you know the story of of him from the Book of Daniel?

Moby (00:30:30):

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>

Lindsay (00:30:31):

Where he was

Moby (00:30:33):

Mene mene mekel.

Lindsay (00:30:34):

What?

Moby (00:30:35):

Mene, mene mekel,

Lindsay (00:30:36):

What are you saying?

Moby (00:30:37):

"You have been weighed and you have been found wanting" I believe that's what Daniel came to Nebuchadnezzar and said "mene, mene mekel"

Lindsay (00:30:45):

<laugh>

Moby (00:30:45):

Which is M E N E M E N E M E K E L. Which I believe you've been like, uh, it's going way back. But I think I, unless I'm conflating Bible stories, but it's, Daniel came to Nebuchadnezzar and said, sorry, I'm, I don't wanna steal your fact, but I, I'm not No,

Lindsay (00:31:01):

No is fascinating cuz I don't know much about this.

Moby (00:31:04):

So I think he, Daniel came to Nebuchadnezzar and said those three words, which meant you have been seen, you have been weighed and you have been found wanting. And then Nebuchadnezzar was upset and put Daniel in the lions den and the lions didn't eat Daniel unless I'm conflating stories.

Lindsay (00:31:24):

Um,

Moby (00:31:24):

Is there also something about like seven years of good harvest, seven years of mediocre harvest and seven years of famine. Now I'm just throwing stuff out there too. Well

Lindsay (00:31:34):

<laugh> you're like when he told lies his nose would grow <laugh>. Yeah, <laugh>. Um, but uh, the reason I bring up King NebuchadnezzaB is because, so in the book of Daniel it says he was driven from men and did eat grass as oxen. So they say for seven years he believed he was a cow or an ox. Which is not just some biblical fanfare, it's a real psychological disorder called anthropy. Which happens to people where suddenly they believe that they are a cow. Hmm. It's a thing that is a true disorder that exists.

Moby (00:32:15):

What's it called?

Lindsay (00:32:17):

Boanthropy.

Moby (00:32:17):

That's fascinating.

Lindsay (00:32:19):

Isn't it?

Moby (00:32:19):

An adjacent, I'm just gonna end with, did you know that the royal family in the UK they own cows. And I don't know what they do with their cows. I assume they do terrible things ultimately to their cows involving killing them. But while the cows are alive, apparently they sleep on waterbeds. Cuz apparently the royal family wants to make sure that their cows are well looked after until they barbarically kill them.

Lindsay (00:32:44):

According to CountryLiving.com, "the dairy cows at Windsor sleep on waterbeds because it protects the cows' knees, hocks, and utter preventing sores or aches that hard beds would cause."

Moby (00:32:59):

I mean that's what a complicated fact because like on one hand I'm like sort of endeared by the fact that these cows get to sleep on waterbeds. On the other hand, of course as a vegan animal rights activist, I don't like the ideas of cows being kept by and for humans especially cuz like they're producing dairy and ultimately they're gonna be killed. So that means they're also being impregnated and the babies are being taken away from them. But waterbeds,

Lindsay (00:33:22):

I imagine a world where a cow is born naturally in the wild and can't live in the wild anymore because it got hurt from a natural, like hurt its leg on a rock and then somebody finds it and they keep it and they keep it on a waterbed and it lives along and healthy life and is never used for food.

Moby (00:33:39):

And when it has babies he gets to keep its babies.

Lindsay (00:33:42):

Exactly.

Moby (00:33:42):

Okay, so let's assume I'm just, I love living with comfortable stories that might not be true <laugh>. So we're gonna work under that assumption is that the royal family adopts these orphan cows and lets them sleep on water beds and live their best lives and have babies and be happy and die of natural causes. Yeah. And we know that's not the case, but I love happy stories even if they're in no way true.

Lindsay (00:34:09):

Yeah. When reality hurts, just lie to yourself.

Moby (00:34:11):

Story of my life. <laugh>. Yeah.

Lindsay (00:34:13):

<laugh>.

Moby (00:34:14):

So, okay, so now let's vote and Mike Formanski who's sitting patiently in the corner, you can weigh in as well. Um, Lindsay, of all these stories, which one or facts? Trivia, what? What's your favorite?

Lindsay (00:34:27):

I'm really biased because I love my work. <laugh> <laugh>. But here's something I really, really loved Snoop Fact because it came with additional anecdotes and that is something that's really fun to me. So Snoop fact is really fun because it's both cute and then the supporting stories were also like exciting and endearing. So it felt like a very, a very nuanced, meaningful fact.

Moby (00:34:58):

Okay.

Lindsay (00:34:59):

So that to me would be the winner of all of the facts.

Moby (00:35:04):

Hmm. Mike Formanski. Do you wanna weigh in? I can. I know you don't have a microphone but if you just sort of pick one I can translate it. Uhoh I think I might be. So Mike Formanski is torn between Snoop and Cesarean Snoop because it's endearing and cesarean cuz Mike is a dark metalhead <laugh> and now he's gonna go home and write songs about like <sings in heavy metal voice> "Caesar!"

Lindsay (00:35:24):

<sings> Caesar in your Belly. Not a salad

Moby (00:35:27):

<sings> Ripping from my womb. Yeah. <laugh> womb ripper!

Lindsay (00:35:30):

<laugh>.

Moby (00:35:31):

So it's my vote is that you can't hum when your nose is blocked cuz I'm a simpleton.

Lindsay (00:35:36):

It's a fun and cute one and there's participation.

Moby (00:35:39):

But I feel like you and Mike Formanski have outvoted me by choosing the Snoop.

Lindsay (00:35:43):

Yeah, I think Snoop won.

Moby (00:35:45):

Okay.

New Speaker (00:35:46):

Snoop always wins.

Moby (00:35:46):

And let's just hope that, cuz I sometimes wonder, like we told this very in endearing, adorable story about Snoop. Like is he gonna be mad?

Lindsay (00:35:54):

Is Snoop litigious?

Moby (00:35:55):

I don't know if there's anything that's litigious there cuz he was on a plane

Lindsay (00:36:00):

Easily offended perhaps?

Moby (00:36:01):

But I wonder if he's like trying to be tough and like we're talking about him being named after Snoopy and how he would like wear adorable Santa Hats. So any case,

Lindsay (00:36:10):

Well actually Snoop is making kids albums now. The album is called "Welcome to Doggy Land."

Moby (00:36:16):

Okay. <laugh>. Okay. So there's kids

Lindsay (00:36:18):

Songs in nursery rhymes by Snoop Dogg. So because he loves his kids and he wanted his kids to have this music that was meaningful to him, it's like, it's all like positive message music for kids. So I think he'll, I think he'll be o kay with that.

Moby (00:36:29):

Okay. So us talking about him wearing an adorable Santa hat and napping on his wife's shoulder, he probably won't be too upset about

Lindsay (00:36:36):

I I don't think that he will.

Moby (00:36:38):

Okay, good.

Lindsay (00:36:38):

I think, you know, he loves his partner and his children and I think that there's nothing sad about that. Do you wanna know the names of the dogs and Doggy Land? I'll tell you, Waggs, Chow Wow, Bow Wizzy, Yap Yap, and Barks A Locks.

Moby (00:36:55):

Okay.

Lindsay (00:36:56):

I Think it's pretty cute. Hmm.

Moby (00:36:57):

Anyway, so do we want to move on to listener questions?

Lindsay (00:37:02):

Yeah, Let's do that.

Moby (00:37:02):

Okay.

Lindsay (00:37:04):

So we've gotten a lot of requests to get more information about Bagel mm-hmm <affirmative>, who is she? Where is she from? What is she like?

Moby (00:37:12):

Well, I believe because Bagel is your companion animal.

Lindsay (00:37:16):

It's true. She is.

Moby (00:37:17):

That, you know better than anyone and, but there's one part of her origin story that's very hard for me to hear. So you're gonna, if you tell her origin story, I'm gonna have to bottle my rage because it, it makes me, it's still, even though it's three years ago, it still makes me very sad.

Lindsay (00:37:35):

It is sad, yeah. But worth telling. Okay. So this is Bagel's origin story Bagel came to me because in the beginning of the pandemic I was home from the office from my last job that I was working at. And I was like, well, we'll be home for like a month <laugh>. maybe I should foster a dog. And so I was looking for all these fosters, but they were like overwhelmed with people looking for fosters at the time. And I was lamenting about this to a friend of mine and trying to find a foster. All of the fosters were overwhelmed with people, they just weren't getting back to me. Or there were two other dogs in the house and like, there's a whole process when there's other dogs there. So, you know, there was, it was tricky. So I was, I was lamenting about this to a friend of mine and he was like, look, if you wanna rescue a dog because you're a good person who I know will take good care of the dog and it will be your family member and like you are the ideal person to get a dog because of how you'll treat it and what it'll mean to you and the amount of attention you'll be able to give it.

Lindsay (00:38:35):

He was like, if you really wanna rescue a dog, look on Craigslist because those are the dogs that there's no vetting process. They're coming from weird places and you don't know where they're going because they just give them out to whoever emails them first and they don't ask any questions. They usually just pass the dog on. And I was like, well that's terrifying and so sad. And I never thought about it like that. But also I didn't wanna get a dog. I thought it was dangerous to try to like connect with some random person from Craigslist. And I was like, this kind of like seedy and I don't know if I wanna do that. It just seemed wrong. And I was like, I don't like whatever they're doing, it feels bad and I don't necessarily wanna support it. But then he sent me a link to a little puppy that looked like it was in a, like the dog looked unwell in the photos. And I was like, puppy, He sends me a picture of a, sick puppy

Moby (00:39:24):

I hate this story.

Lindsay (00:39:27):

So then I was like, well something seems amiss with this. Like now that I've seen her and she was so cute, but just like something was wrong. And so I was like, okay, I'm just gonna go and see if the dog's okay and if it seems like the dog's fine and everything's cool and I'm just being crazy, then I'll, I'll leave her there and somebody else can come get her. Um, cuz I wasn't necessarily in the market for a puppy. Like I thought I was gonna go back to the office in a month and I wouldn't be able to take care of a little puppy. So I get there and I take my friend Brittani , different Brittani with me because I was like, I don't really know what I'm walking into. Just like having someone there with me would be helpful. So I went and they brought her outside and she was just limp in their arms.

Lindsay (00:40:14):

She was dirty, her eyes were all dirty and like gunky underneath and she was just like, didn't stand, she was just limp. And I was like, okay, something's wrong with this puppy. I was like, I might be about to hospice this dog cuz I don't know if these little puppies make it when they're that sick. But I just took her and I was like, I don't have a lot of money, but I will spend whatever I have to make sure this little puppy is okay. And then I'll figure out what to do with her later. And so the next day I, first of all, I brought her back, I slept with her, cuddled up with me. so close. And I was just like loving this little puppy. And the next day I took her to the vet and they were like, she has fleas and ticks and seven kinds of parasites in her digestive tract.

Lindsay (00:40:52):

And I was like, well now, like, I was like, do I have parasites now? Because I just like, was literally just like smooching this puppy So I had to get her better and it was a whole journey of like medicine and food and shots and all of this stuff. And it took like months, months, many months, like four or five months to actually like get her back on track. But now she, but then she was happy and this like sweet puppy and so funny and silly and I was like, yeah, there's no way I'm sending this dog to another place. Like for a minute I, when I first got her I was like, I'll get her better and then when I have to go back to work, I'll set her up with some adoption group or You know, but that didn't happen.

Moby (00:41:27):

And that was, that was over three years ago. And now she is the happiest, healthiest dog on the planet. But boy oh boy, the thought cuz I love Bagel so much, the thought of her being neglected as a puppy, like after being

Lindsay (00:41:41):

Well they kept her outside.

Moby (00:41:41):

I know. I know. I hate, I hate like, I, one of my goals in life is to be forgiving and non-judgmental. I still wanna find those people and murder them. Like they, they hurt Bagel and Bagel is my favorite person on the planet

Lindsay (00:41:56):

And Bagel's like five brothers and sisters. We don't know what happened to them.

Moby (00:41:59):

So I'm, I'm thrilled. I feel like you've earned your angel wings in heaven. <laugh> for like adopting Bagel and saving her from that terrible backyard of drinking parasite water.

Lindsay (00:42:10):

Yeah. And now she's the happiest and healthiest.

Moby (00:42:14):

And so that's Bagel and she lives with Lindsay and when Lindsay is asleep, Bagel puts on a superhero cape and travels around the city fighting crime.

Lindsay (00:42:23):

Yeah. She's perfect. She's perfect and smart and curious and funny and cuddly and great.

Lindsay (00:42:40):

Um, I've had a couple of questions also about your swimming pool and why you got rid of your swimming pool and why you did that to me as one of my only pool friends. <laugh>, why you would curse me with taking my pool away.

Moby (00:42:56):

Okay,

Lindsay (00:42:57):

<laugh>. So let's go

Moby (00:42:59):

Way back. The year is 1972. Uh, this is the danger of asking old guys stories cuz they tell long stories.

Lindsay (00:43:10):

This year was 19,

Moby (00:43:12):

So 1972, I loved swimming more than anything. And I would swim anywhere. I would swim in lakes, I would swim in Long Island sound, I would swim in pools, I would swim in ponds, I would swim in streams. I could just, any body of water I could jump into. I just loved swimming and living

Lindsay (00:43:31):

Up to your name.

Moby (00:43:32):

Yeah. Living up to my name. And I just thought the most remarkable thing anyone could ever experience in life would be to have their own swimming pool. I couldn't even, because I, we were really poor. We were on food stamps and welfare and I would just try to get invited to other people's swimming pools. Uh, my grandmother lived in a retirement community in New Jersey, in Westfield, New Jersey. And the highlight of my summer was going to her retirement community for four or five days because she had air conditioning, which we didn't have. And she also had a swimming pool.

Lindsay (00:44:02):

Luxury.

Moby (00:44:03):

So I would spend 12 hours a day in the swimming pool while all the sort of 80 year old retired people would sit around

Lindsay (00:44:10):

Watching the kids be cute.

Moby (00:44:11):

Not kids, one kid, me, <laugh>. I didn't have friends. I'd just like, I would go in the swimming pool at seven in the morning when it opened and I would leave at seven at night.

Lindsay (00:44:19):

Let me ask you this, because I feel like for me, when I was swimming in pools, there was always an activity like, you know, tossing coins, swim to the bottom, capture the coins, or you do are doing flips, you're doing handstands, you are doing races in the pool back and forth. Like what was your swimming activity?

Moby (00:44:36):

Anything <laugh> like you could put me in a pool for eight hours and I would invent every game, every anything involving swimming was good with me. Anybody of water, it didn't matter. I was just upset. I was on the swim team. I wasn't a great swimmer, but I was like, I just love swimming anything. I just, being in water was so magical and I couldn't believe that there were people who had their own swimming pools. So when I moved to LA I had a swimming pool and I just thought, oh my God, like this is the dream. Like I have a swimming, my own swimming pool. Guess what? It never got used. I don't know what happened. I still love swimming, but I just never, I don't know, maybe I got old and that part of my brain that experiences that type of joy is just dead <laugh>. But I just never, my swimming pool just sat there in the backyard and at some point I was looking at it and I was like, really? If I take a step back and just look at the swimming pool with some quasi objectivity, it's a concrete box filled with dead water and it never got used. And there was one terrible thing about it, it killed bees. So almost every day I would go out and there was like six or seven dead bees in the swimming pool.

Lindsay (00:45:53):

They would get drowned in there?

Moby (00:45:54):

They would go there to drink and they would drown. And I tried building bee ladders. I tried building all sorts of ways for the, like I would go out and try and rescue the bees, but nonetheless bees would drown in my swimming pool. And it made me so depressed. Cause I love bees. And it just really bothered me that I had this concrete box filled with dead water that was killing bees. And so I talked to a contractor friend of mine and said, Hey, what would be involved for me to take my swimming pool out and replace it with trees and replace it with plants that pollinators like? And he was like, I don't know. No one's ever done that. So I am the only person as far as my contractor as far as the city of Los Angeles is concerned, who has taken out a swimming pool and replaced it with trees. People have replaced swimming pools with other swimming pools or with houses. But no one apart from me has ever replaced a swimming pool with trees. So getting rid of the swimming pool was this long, expensive process. It took months. It's so expensive. And my business manager at the time said, oh great. So you've just spent all this time and money making your house less valuable.

Lindsay (00:47:03):

<laugh>.

Moby (00:47:03):

But it makes me so much happier. I look out my window and instead of seeing that concrete box filled with dead water that kills bees, I see trees, I see plants that I see squirrels, I see morning doves, I see hummingbirds, I see butterflies. The other day I saw a mother hummingbird in a nest. I'd never seen a hummingbird nest before. So like, isn't a hummingbird nest better than a concrete box filled with dead water?

Lindsay (00:47:32):

I don't know about better, but you know, it was pretty nice to just dip the old toes in <laugh>.

Moby (00:47:40):

But honestly, it was the killing of the bees. The fact that I was involved in anything that was killing bees was destroying. Like, I like psychologically, I couldn't handle that.

Lindsay (00:47:52):

Yeah. Let me ask you this. When you say dead water, what do you mean? Because I don't think of water as a thing that can be alive or dead. I think of it at like, what do you mean when you say that?

Moby (00:48:03):

Oh, like water that's in a lake that's alive, meaning it's filled with bacteria, it's filled with frogs, it's filled with life water. When it's in the swimming pool, it's filtered, it's chemicals, it's oxygenated, like, there's so many processes that literally kill the water or they don't, I mean, water is inert, but they kill everything in the water. Like

Lindsay (00:48:28):

I see

Moby (00:48:29):

The, you know, the reason that pools are like clear is because there's nothing alive in them. You know, which is, I guess is good because it keeps people from getting skin infections and things but it is dead water. You know, it's water that is not supporting life. And that just seems so weird to create this concrete enclosed lifeless box that was killing bees and the occasional frog. I mean, boy oh boy. Like that's rough. Yeah. So I just, I I just couldn't in good conscience. I, I, so I spent a whole bunch of money and made my house less valuable so I could have trees and plants for pollinators and squirrels, um, rather than having a dead box filled with water.

Lindsay (00:49:09):

Okay. I mean, I'm glad that you're happy with your decision.

Moby (00:49:13):

Oh, I love it. I mean, it's one of the only instances in my life where I've spent money to lose money and in the process created life and, you know, I've created more oxygen. I've cooled the air, I've provided a home for all sorts of creatures. Like, it just makes me unbelievably happy that I was able to do that. Great. And then one last little adjunct to that is I also during, while they were tearing out my swimming pool, I've never felt like less of a man.

Lindsay (00:49:45):

What do you mean?

Moby (00:49:46):

Because the guys who tear out swimming pools, the guys who cut through concrete and rebar are the strongest. Like they're moving these huge chunks of concrete that have iron in them. And while they're doing that, like these are like the toughest guys on the planet. Like, I'm inside delicately washing my organic blueberries and I felt like, I mean, I'm not the most manly guy to begin with, but boy, when you're like delicately washing blueberries that have come from Instacart, while these tough guys are carrying huge chunks of concrete, like I really felt like I am the most delicate manchild on the planet.

Lindsay (00:50:25):

Everyone has different strengths. <laugh>, it's all all about balance. I think brute strength has to exist right alongside, you know, mental fortitude.

Moby (00:50:33):

I have neither.

Lindsay (00:50:33):

And it doesn't always come in the same body.

Moby (00:50:35):

I don't have brute strength or mental fortitude. Like I'm a, I'm just a weakling across the board.

Lindsay (00:50:41):

I don't know. I will say there's been a few times when I haven't been able to open a jar or something and you're able to open them

Moby (00:50:46):

Years of playing guitar. Maybe I have some hand strengths <laugh>. Yeah. But boy, oh boy, if you ever really wanna feel like so physically inadequate, just watch these Herculean men carrying 150 pound slabs of concrete on their backs. They got paid really well for it. Like, I didn't feel guilty about it. Like it's their job and they were very happy. I mean, they're super happy, strong, tough guys, but boy did I feel like an inadequate gentleman by comparison.

Lindsay (00:51:14):

As someone who cares about you <laugh>, I don't think you should be comparing yourself to anyone ever for any reason. Speaking of, I have another question for you. Okay. Um, we've had a question, which is...

Moby (00:51:27):

Uhoh,

Lindsay (00:51:28):

Can you have Eminem on as a guest <laugh>? And did you two ever make up?

Moby (00:51:33):

Okay. So a little backstory, and I'm not looking to open old wounds or old weird rivalries. I'm sure Eminem is great. It seems like a very smart, incredibly successful person. I have no criticisms, but in the late nineties there was a lot of like his music and other people's music that was very misogynistic and very homophobic and it really bothered me because I was like, this is so weird. Like, you turn on the radio and you hear songs about like abusing women and gay people. Yeah. I was like, how in the world is this allowed? How, like, who thinks this is a good idea? And I spoke out against it. Eminem felt personally attacked. He then at the 2002 MTV Music Awards, he attacked me and triumphed insult comic dog. Like he punched a puppet. Um,

Lindsay (00:52:21):

Eminem punched the puppet?

Moby (00:52:22):

Yeah.

Lindsay (00:52:23):

The guy's hand?

Moby (00:52:24):

The actual puppet. Okay. He, I don't know if he understood what a puppet was cuz he got mad at the puppet as opposed to Robert Smigel, who was the voice of the voice of the puppet. But in any case, we had, so Eminem and I had our little contretemps

Lindsay (00:52:38):

And he, he sang, he sang about you in a song and it was mean.

Moby (00:52:41):

He sang about me in a song. Um,

Lindsay (00:52:43):

Wasn't very nice what he said.

Moby (00:52:44):

Yeah. He was very homophobic. Um, complicated homophobia. And also, it's interesting cuz he also said like, you're 36 years old, you're too old. And I'm like, yeah, now he's in his fifties. So I wonder if he still sings that line. But then in any case.

Lindsay (00:52:59):

And also I'm now that age and I'm like, I guess I can't start my music career now <laugh>, because Eminem wouldn't approve.

Moby (00:53:05):

So I, in, in hindsight, I'm very flattered that, you know, this incredibly successful musician dressed up like me in a video and sang about me. I guess I'm, I guess it's flattering, but in any case.

Lindsay (00:53:16):

All press is good press. Isn't that what they say? Oh. Or maybe, maybe in the nineties, but definitely not now. <laugh>.

Moby (00:53:21):

Yeah. So since that one time when we had our puppet encounter, I've never really encountered Eminem as far as having him on the show. Sure. I'd love to have him on the show to talk about sobriety, to talk about, oh, what it's like to grow up in public. Like he became very famous very quickly at a very young age. you know, as opposed to, I, I mean I had my first real brush with big success when I was already like 30 years old. Yeah. So I just wonder what that's like to be so successful so young. Like how, what's your sense of self when it, like every person on the planet knows who you are. you know, I, I think, I think that's really fascinating. And also I know that not to out anyone, but like I know that he has had a lot of struggles with addiction. So I'd be fascinated to talk about that, that with him. But I can't imagine he is in any hurry to be on our podcast, <laugh>, who knows maybe he's listening right now and he's like, oh, secretly he loves us and he'll be on the next flight from Detroit to LA so he can come talk to us and Bagel.

Lindsay (00:54:28):

I mean, I would love that cuz I have some, I have a lot of lyric questions I'd like to ask.

Moby (00:54:32):

Some of his lyrics have perhaps they were a little offensive in the beginning and they certainly have not aged very well. Like the homophobia, misogyny, the violent misogyny definitely is super troublesome.

Lindsay (00:54:45):

There were boys in high school that used to tell me they were gonna "Put anthrax on my Tampax" because of Eminem. And I said, "I don't think you know what Tapax means". And they were like, "So what!?" <Laugh>

Moby (00:55:09):

Okay.

Moby (00:55:10):

Anymore, by the way, how we've been just rambling on gabbin' for a long time.

Lindsay (00:55:15):

Oh, we've been gabbin'. But I do have one more question and I think this one might lead into a musical interlude, so I'm pretty excited about it.

Moby (00:55:20):

Okay.

Lindsay (00:55:21):

"Have you ever heard jazz samba from Brazil? Do you like it? And have you ever tried to play it?"

Moby (00:55:29):

Well, yes, but I wonder if this counts, like there was an artist named Stan Getz. And I believe the most famous version of Girl from Ipanema was him and Astrud Gilberto. I could be mistaken, someone who's listening might correct me cuz I might be wrong. But that was, my mom had some of these jazz samba records with Stan Getz and I loved them. I've never really tried to play it. Uh, I mean I, I grew up playing jazz guitar when I was very young, so I imagine, imagine I could,

Lindsay (00:56:01):

Can you try?

Moby (00:56:03):

You want, uh, yeah, let me, let me, let's do a quick reset and let me think about how I could possibly, how we could do some jazz samba song.

Lindsay (00:56:15):

Okay, great.

Moby (00:56:17):

Okay, so we're gonna give this a try. Uh, boy. Um, and I'm gonna try and record the guitar. So we've got the little keyboard. And so there are two types of really simple jazz chords.

Lindsay (00:56:37):

Okay.

Moby (00:56:37):

There's a major, major seventh, which would be this, <plays major 7th chords in a samba rhythm> and then minor seventh <plays minor 7th chords in a samba rhythm>. So when I think of jazz samba, this is what I think of. Sounds kind of pretty right?

Lindsay (00:57:10):

Yeah. Sounds nice.

Moby (00:57:13):

I'm sure that some jazz samba purist is like, what is this garbage? So should we try and do, keeping in mind in the spirit also a full disclosure. We've never done this. There's no rehearsal, so there's a chance it just won't work, but maybe it will.

Lindsay (00:57:30):

Bagel loves it.

Moby (00:57:31):

Hi Bagel. Hi Mike. How are you feeling?

Lindsay (00:57:39):

That was a thumbs up. Ooh, he's in Rio.

Moby (00:57:43):

<sings> Come on baby. Come on girl. Come on baby. Come on girl. Love you baby. <speaks> Sounds pretty good for.

Lindsay (00:58:05):

Yeah.

Moby (00:58:08):

<sings> Come on baby. Come on girl. Look at us. We're beautiful.

Lindsay (00:58:19):

Beautiful.

Moby (00:58:20):

All the people, they push and pull,

Lindsay (00:58:23):

Push and pull.

Moby (00:58:24):

They'll just go out and ride.

Lindsay (00:58:27):

Did someone say ride?

Moby (00:58:29):

<speaks> Oh, I believe someone did.

Lindsay (00:58:31):

<laugh>.

Moby (00:58:31):

<sings> Look at us. We're beautiful.

Moby (00:58:38):

All the people, they push and pull.

Lindsay (00:58:40):

They push and pull,

Moby (00:58:41):

They'll just go out and ride.

Lindsay (00:58:48):

Vrooom. Vroom. <Laugh>.

Moby (00:58:54):

<speaks> So that's beautiful. My idea of beautiful as a jazz somba song,

Lindsay (00:58:59):

I think it's really good. It's easy listening.

Moby (00:59:07):

Those years of jazz guitar lessons paid off when I was around like nine to 13. I studied music theory and, you could hit, Oh, I see, I see. You're turning it down. Or you could can just hit stop.

Lindsay (00:59:23):

It's called a fade down.

Moby (00:59:26):

<whipsers> Beautiful. Yeah. Yeah.

Lindsay (00:59:33):

<laugh>.

Moby (00:59:33):

So should we say goodbye?

Lindsay (00:59:35):

Yeah. Let's say goodbye.

Moby (00:59:35):

Should we have a little drum accompaniment?

Moby (00:59:37):

<plays guitar over samba beat>

Lindsay (00:59:40):

<spoken> Thanks everybody for joining us for today's episode of Moby Pod. It was really fun. We talked about facts, we talked a lot about corn, much more than anyone could have possibly expected. We had a nice time and we're very grateful that you're here with us. If you like this episode, tell your friends about it and maybe like it or rate it and review it. Whatever feels good to you. You can email us at mobypod@moby.com with any questions, musings, insights. Nothing mean cuz it does hurt deeply. Um, I wanna thank Mike Formanski, for helping us with all of our tech things today, as well as Jonathan Nesvadba who edits and does the music production. And I want to thank Human Content who helps to get this podcast into your ear holes.

Moby (01:00:38):

<laugh>,

Lindsay (01:00:38):

That you cannot make sound out of. We'll see you next time.

Moby (01:00:44):

<sings> Who's beautiful?

Lindsay (01:00:48):

Bagel.